Yes, he's wearing a turtleneck. Hee-laher-eee-us! <--("hilarious")
So if you think Giraffes? Giraffes! is just some band from New Hampshire with an album called “SUPERBASS!!! (Black Death Greatest Hits Vol. 1)” then you are in luck because i am about to drop a knowledge-ish bomb on you that will probably make your ears see and nose hear and your mouth smell.
Giraffes? Giraffes! is the first in a proposed series of 377 reference books, all written by a couple, Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-on-Whey, married fifty years and now getting their chance to twist and tickle the brains of the impressionable.
giraffes were not part of any evolutionary chain, but came here from Neptune, by way of very long (but convenient and fast) escalators; giraffes are expert dancers, but they become angry if you ask them about their dancing; giraffes control over 90 pecent of what we see in mirrors; the Giraffe navy is as strong as ever, contrary to recent claims in the popular press.
For many years the scientific and educational community has wondered and worried about the possibility that semi-sane scholar pretenders would find the means to put out a series of reference books aimed at children but filled with ludicrous misinformation. These books would be distributed through respectable channels and would inevitably find their way into the hands and households of well-meaning families, who would go to them for facts but instead find bizarre untruths. The books would look normal enough, but would read as if written by people who have eaten too many lead-based paint chips.
This is a book to be feared. If you have young people in your life, keep it far away from them.
also it is currently on sale!
also currently, we have a new sexy/flirty card featuring a giraffe.
so… everybody wins!
XOXO
-Mister Lister