The Pig Doesn’t Want His Bladder Turned Into a Football

Today is the first Football Sunday in a long time. The pig wants to enjoy the games, but nothing can quite shake his nausea. Footballs were made from pig bladders? Oh, the Pig-manity! OK, so they’ve stopped using them. The new ones, made from cow-leather as they are, might shock my poor bovine cousins, but there is nary a pig part put to use by Wilson in manufacturing the official “Duke” game football.

Nevertheless, you must understand that all of my porcine brethren share a deep, embedded consciousness of atrocities past. Porcine Rights have been trampled since time immemorial. Someone tell me why people still eat tripe – it tastes awful (pun intended). And please, if indeed it is possible, explain to me why someone would turn my brothers and sisters into belts.

And so watching football is a terribly fraught experience.  Watching the ball tossed around so cavalierly without respect for its terrible origins. That is just too much for this pig to handle.

What if Wilson were made of a pigs bladder?

What if Wilson were made of a pig's bladder?



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